Release

sunmistI am
grey and brilliant gold,
falling back into the earth
like vapours of exhausted breath.
 
The old patterns emerge
as the lay of the ground comes closer-
the nook and shelter of a trees crook,
a rock in the place where my shoulder
settles in-
habits of comfort and pain.
I am a whole year older
and the rise of the land remains unchanged.
I will push myself up and over 
the slope again,    again,
 
feel the stone on the fibre of my skin
pressing,   pressing,
until I make a shift
 
It is fall and I am falling back,
drifting down, my every cell
dissipates like mist
when the morning warmth
curves away the time.
I fall differently-
I am shifting, in all this-
shifting and turning in mid-air.
It is no use trying to keep
myself together.
 
I settle on fir needles, on spiderwebs,
on the tips of grass blades.
I seep into mushrooms and leaves,
slip through deers’ tongues
and the beaks of chickadees.
 
I will vaporize.
 
I see your eyes as they search
the fog for me-
I land on your lips again and again
 
and I recondense
with a richer understanding
of wholeness.
 
 

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